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Where is the freedom? by Chrystinator Where is the freedom? by Chrystinator
Im not going through a great period in my  life right now, with all the stress for the final exams and getting into my dream college, im kinda freaking out; not to mention the many  other factors that happening right now and that are contributing to my current state of mind..
I just want everything to be over faster so i will finally find my freedom and happiness again and rearrange my life... Its a shame to remember how happy and full of joy i was in summer comparing with how i am today, when i m not smiling as much, and when i do it's rarely genuine and so i can t say i am  free to be happy at all....
Because of this stress I m struggling with random panic attacks and constant uncontrollable agitation, wich makes me not myself anymore.
That awesome sociable person with a lot of goofy sarcasm and friendly humour isn t here anymore. I wonder where is her now, where is the true and inocent joy of livig, where is the freedom to be happy. I lost them...

the sketch:chrystinator.deviantart.com/ar…
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:iconarkeoklept:
Arkeoklept Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2017   Digital Artist
Her hair is strikingly beautiful! And I hope you will feel better soon. Quite possibly warmer weather and sunnier days will help. A lot of people struggle in winter. Go easy on yourself and take some time. You do not have to be perfect and happy all the time. No one can manage that. :)
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:icondramatically-ironing:
Dramatically-Ironing Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2017  Student Artist
Well, I'm glad you're finding an outlet in art. I know a lot about stress, mental illness, and panic attacks. You're not alone and, in my personal experience, it always helps to have someone I know can talk me down from the ledge if I need it. I hope you find that or already have it, but if you don't or can't you can feel free to message me. 

Aside from that I fricken love this piece, very relatable for me and the colors are awesome. 
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:iconchrystinator:
Chrystinator Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you so much! its really kind of you! :) yeah art is very therapeutic for me.. too bad i don t have time to focus on it :/
i do understand im not alone and i do talk about it woth my family and close friends ^^ actually one of my best friends has the same problem cuz she studies as well to get into collage and we understand each other ^^.. And when it comes to happiness i guess it will come back after i see myself into collage, after i finish all these exams ^^ till then.. i guess achieving what i want means making some sacrifices :(

My motivation is that after this craziness everything will be awesome. I did learn to control a bit my unpredictable panic attacks as well and i did realised some stuff about myself latelly. Talking withcpeople really helps calming me and does distract me.

I hope you are doing fine now :3
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:icondramatically-ironing:
Dramatically-Ironing Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2017  Student Artist
For me, I guess its one of those things that mainly gets easier to manage instead of going away. College is stressful in different ways.  :( (Sad) 

I'm really glad you have a support system, though! That's the best way to get through life in my opinion
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:iconchrystinator:
Chrystinator Featured By Owner Edited Jan 15, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
yeah i did hear its harder to just go away... so i do accept it as a part of me and try to deal with it successfuly.
For how long did u have this problem?
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:icondramatically-ironing:
Dramatically-Ironing Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2017  Student Artist
It's hard to really say, I'd guess since I've been about nine or ten. It is something that I get better and better at dealing with, but I don't expect it to go away anytime soon. It's more about changing the way I cope to be healthier than having no need to cope in the future.

The transition to college has been stressful because I have to manage my own time and I'm far away from my family and friends. Being in college and becoming an adult means that I'm starting to make decisions that will affect me for a very long time. It has been quite a difficult experience, but also exciting and empowering. It's weird and hard to explain but I don't necessarily feel much happier, I feel much more like myself.

Sorry for the late reply Sweating a little... 
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:iconreindust:
ReinDust Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I really hope you'll be happy as much as you can. Keep smiling and stay strong. (◒▿◒)ᕤ
Also I really like the drawing
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:icondarkbeliever95:
darkbeliever95 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2016  Student Digital Artist
Bondage is better dan freedom.
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:icont80combatmaster:
t80combatmaster Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I see. It looks really good, too! Yeah, I totally understand not having much free time. I'm basically there. :(
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:iconchrystinator:
Chrystinator Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
aw thank you!
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December 12, 2016
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